Left of Center

I have no qualms with acknowledging how awkward I can be.  Brownlee on the other hand, was one of those people who was always in the middle of things.  High School football and basketball player.  In a fraternity.  Social butterfly.  Stuff like that.  So at times I see that Addy struggles with her personality of being a cool kid but not wanting to be all the way in the mix.

Friday night we were actually all in the house together so I decided that we can go grab a quick dinner then spend some time at City Centre.  They have this big courtyard that is extremely family friendly but like new age family friendly.   Lots of mixed couples.  Lots of organic food (Ruggles Green and a Red Mango is right there).  Lots of wine.  We fit in with our tattoos and un-weddedness and middle class ways.  They always have live music and usually there’s some tents set up to browse handmade soaps and candles and jewelry and whatever else people sell on Etsy.

We walked on into the courtyard.  I made sure Addy saw where I was sitting and then told her to go play.  You can never tell how she’s going to be around adults.  It’s seriously a crap shoot on if she will even make eye contact with them or try to give them whatever toy she has in their hands and give them kisses.  The lady that was busing tables at Coney Island was trying to talk to Addy and Addy quietly gave a seasoned side eye until the lady was out of her peripheral vision.  I don’t apologize to people for her rude behavior anymore. I just shrug like “eh what are you gonna do” cause eh, what are you gonna do.

But Addy is totally different around kids.  I know she has a lot of friends in daycare so I was pretty sure she would have a good time in this free for all courtyard situation (with City Centre security and a fair share of helicopter parents).  She ran right up to a little girl that was approximately Addy-sized and they took off running together.  For about 20 minutes.

She kicked a few balls.  Joined in on some tumbling.  Took her shoes off and did some sort of kid hippie circle.  Commandeered some little girls scooter, but the mom was fine with cause I mean she knew what the situation was.  (we also realized we will have to buy her one for Christmas – if I can hold out that long).

The guy playing saxaphone was jamming.  I mean I knew every single song he was playing.  Some Norah Jones.  Some Aretha Franklin.  Some Isley Brothers.  Yes I realize this is just another step into turning into my mother.  Everyone does it.

Then ol Jazz Man said he would be right back and came back with like 30 maracas and asked the kids to join him on stage.  I told Addy she could go but I wasn’t going to fight for her to get a maracas.  Sometimes you just want to see how things are going to play out.  A bigger girl told one of the kids that had two to give Addy one and everyone was happy.  The guy played a song.  The kids danced and maraca’d along.

Then I noticed where my kid was

Like yeah I’m having fun doing what y’all are doing…on my own.

The sax guy kept trying to get her to come towards the middle with all the other kids and she totally just stopped jamming and just stared at him.

I shrugged.

She was having a great time and one of the other little girls she befriended came over and stood with her.

It’s like people ask me what we’re going to do if Addy does wind up being our only kid.  Like she won’t have friends or something.  Stuff like this assures me that no matter what she’ll find her own way, even if it is a little to the side of what everyone else is doing.