How I Spent the Blackout

This is from notes I kept yesterday during the STOP  SOPA internet protest. Internet protesting is very #lazyyeteffective

Today I will try and avoid the internet.  No Facebook.  No Twitter.  No FMyLife.com.  No whatever else I do on my phone all day that requires an unlimited data plan.  Well except email.  I gotta email.  All in protest of the government’s plan to censor the Internet.  Like this is China or something.  I get the idea that bajillionaire movie people don’t want their stuff stolen (as I may or may not have pirated a movie or two arrrrgggg) but I mean the idea of not being able to run my successful* blog because some government official has blacklisted me for any statements they want to censor is le bullshit.

 *successful as in I still post things on here

So here is some of the things I have been thinking while not being on the Internet.  Just a little log as the day goes on and I have to stop my fingers from instantly hitting the Facebook app on my phone.

730a. I suppose I can just check last night’s notifications before I get in the car to go to work.  Cause that was last night pre-boycott and maybe someone sent me a message or something.

745. Man I’m funny.  Too bad I have to keep my random thoughts to myself today.

8am.  Is happy hour tonight? I need to know.  I can’t not email today.  And it’s a good thing this book is getting good. Maybe I should write a short story.

8:05 How did I get on Facebook? Did my finger really just click the button like that? Abort Abort!

807 Ariel would make a fabulous gay man.  She’s mad she can’t Facebook that.  I’m going to have to start a log of things to remember I wanted to broadcast during the day.

855 I could be pinning things right now. I bet people are pinning awesome things.

951  I’m doing better than I thought.  No cold sweats.  No angry fits.  Checking my EZ tag balance doesn’t really count as internet usage.  They can’t sensor that anyway right so it doesn’t really count. Or maybe I’m just that desperate for internet I decided to check my EZ tag.  Tomato tomato.

1052  How do I keep hitting the Facebook button?

11am Whatever I’ll just take a peek at facebook notifications.  I wasn’t wholly prepared for a full day boycott so let’s just see what’s going on.

1106  Nothing, yet I feel some sort of relief.  Now what’s for lunch…

1130  Is there a Burger King around here?! How am I supposed to find anything without Google?! I want a burger.  I’m going to starve.

12:50  UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

1p  My headphones look like they came from the knot store.  This would be a funny tweet.  #Portlandia.  Although it is funny to use hashtags in a non Twitter forum, I hate when people MISUSE them on Facebook.  There should be more to this observation but my brain don’t work good.

2:43  I gave away the entire plot of this book to my office mate.  She’s intrigued and wants to know more.  I’m wondering how this movie will turn out and how much it will suck and ifHollywoodwill get a tan white kid to play Indian Pi.  And now I’m mad atHollywoodfor SOPA and why I can’t get on the Internet now.  Maybe I can just sign a petition and call Congress and have some Facebook time tonight.  Mmmm Facebook.

3:20 Oooh an email! From Destination Maternity?! Didn’t I unsubscribe from this crap 2 other times? How long do they expect me to continue to buy maternity clothes?

3:25 I email Gabby to see if she’s heard of anything going on on the internet.

3:26  Why did I leave my netbook at home? Internet boycotting is not computer boycotting.  I could have been editing pictures or compiling a slideshow for the kids’ birthday party!

3:34  Gabby accuses me of not supporting the anti SOPA protest because although my site is blacked out, you can click to continue on to the site.  I explain to her I’m basically as good as Google.

3:36 Notice my typing is similar to that in the book.  Short.  Distressed.  Lack of emotion.

4:22  More email! Barnes & Noble is trying to trick me into some free membership for previous Borders customers.  Why would I pay to give you money B&N.  Move it along sucker.  Besides, I already have my brain set on getting Amazon prime.  So you can continue to suck it. Except I need a copy of Where The Wild Things Are for the kids’ birthday.  Keep email…

4:46  What did people do at red lights before they could check the internet? It’s not texting and driving if I’m at a red light.  Not a jacker in sight!

6p  At least it’s happy hour and I’ll be distracted

8:45  We need more happy hours.  Why is Banana Republic having ANOTHER sale?  70% off?! Are those jeans I need on sale yet?  Ariel sent a hilarious picture of “What is SOPA?  I don’t know cause I can’t use Wikipedia.”  I hope I can remember to find and upload this.

9. Why is the kid eating again? When I left she was eating. After a few rounds of “can I have some” and “thank you” its time for a bath because she has dehydrated bananas and strawberries on her face. I try to get a video of her saying uh oh and what cones across as “thank you” but my phone battery is low and I can’t upload it anyway cause the internet will feel my wrath. I noticed my cut of jeans is “hipster” and think Angelique would get a good laugh out of that.

1045 I made it! I know technically it’s too early but it’s close enough and I have things to catch up on and it’s almost midnight on the East coast anyway.  I feel like I can give the speech President Morgan Freeman gave at the end of Deep Impact but I can’t IMDB the quote.