Gremlin Baby

So the Monday I was eating a nice dinner of salmon with (courtesy of HEB, courtesy of Gabby) alfredo fettucini and watching the Jets.  All was right with the world.  Then suddenly I got a burning sensation.  In my thoat (no typo).  I burped and figured that was the end of it.  Wrong.

Tuesday watching Teen Mom I was eating more leftover salmon and noodles and got the same sensation.  Like I was about to burp fire (I’m not gonna lie that would have been cool).  So I sent Brownlee a message to bring home some Tums.  I popped two and went to bed. 

So yesterday I avoided anything remotely close to spicy.  I had two grilled snack wraps from McDonalds and some Cocoa Puffs before I took a nap.  When I woke up at 11 in the pm and had to eat again, I went for chicken and rice.  BOOM.  The burn was back.

Then I realized what I was doing.  Everytime I feed the baby after 8pm it gives me heartburn.  I was just telling a co-worker my dilemma and she’s all “the baby’s gonna have tons of hair”.  Apparently there is some truth to it.  I read this in my weekly email weeks ago.  The same chemical/hormone/whatever that causes heartburn is also prevalent when baby’s hair is growing.  Something along those lines, don’t quote me.  But there actually is a medical correlation.  And of course co-worker was all “ooh I loved me so jalepenos and had bad heartburn.  My kid came out needing a haircut and an eyebrow wax…but she also had acid reflux the first 6 months.” Super.  I’m going to watch the spicy foods <tear> so I don’t pass on some acid reflux, but don’t get me wrong, I do love the occasional hot wing.

Also since everyone at work knows, and my shirts are steadily shrinking, I’ve been getting lots of “it’s a boy cause your stomach is pointy” or “it’s a girl cause you don’t look pregnant from the back” (how does one look pregnant from the back?), so I plan do organize a pool here at work.  I’m sure we can take bets at any subsequent baby showers as well. But here’s this week’s pic for your viewing and guessing pleasure.

 

Now I want hot wings.

8 thoughts on “Gremlin Baby

  1. Did you just call my kid a "gremlin"? Out of line! So based on what you're telling us, the baby is coming out looking like Braylon Edwards during training camp?

    1. Why yes I did. If I feed the baby after a certain time it attacks. See: Gremlins. Gremlins 2. Was there a 3? Probably. See that too.
      You look like Braylon Edwards and should shave every other day, so its highly possible.

  2. ROTFLMAO!!! Oh no…not Braylon Edwards. Now I really hope MP is a boy…cuz a girl Braylon Edwards is NOT the business.

    And you can't go around calling your baby a gremlin…It's hilarious & probably true…but how do you explain that to MP when he grows up? lol.

      1. Monkey Pie is easy to explain! And YOU'RE the one who named me Baddy, so I'll defer that question to you. 😀

        But hey, MP is your baby, so if you wanna call him Gremlin…you gotta take that up with Dad. lol.

  3. LOL, why are you calling the baby Braylon Edwards!? And I don't know about from the back but you def look preggers from the side now! 🙂

    1. Cuz during JETS Training Camp, Braylon had a mountain man beard going on….so she said the baby was gonna be hairy, so thats what I thought of Kelly.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *