37 and 4 weeks.

I turned 37 last month and didn’t make a blog post about it. Mostly I was freaked out because an ex-coworker a year and three days younger than me had just suffered a heart attack (he’s recovered…as much as one does) and it sent me into an existential cycle of nothing matters or everything matters. More so than usual. I can get into a deep existential crisis staring a the night sky so suffice it to say this one was a doozie. So coupled with that plus general routine malaise, here we are.

Plus, I think I forgot how to write. Not so much that I have writers block but I just can’t sit and type out more than 280 characters at a time?

It’s November and that’s when people focus on National Novel Writing Month #Nanowritmo or National Blog Posting Month #NaBloPoMo but I am loosing myself of the idea of being goal-oriented. If I want to write or read more I will do so and if I don’t that’s fine the whole thing is relative and fleeting. Mostly right now I just want to have a stack partially filled notebooks and shelves of books purchased with no promise to be read.

SkinnyBlackGirl (presently former blogger, current Instagram storier, possible Medium writer?, always birthday twin) just shared this article from Vice titled If You Don’t Want to Have Kids, You Don’t Have to Want Kids Instead and it’s encouraging me to go ahead and spend some credits on Jia Tolentino’s (HTINE HOLD IT DINE) book Trick Mirror: Reflections of Self Delusion. SBG didn’t even have comments on her story so I could ask for the link! I had to seek it out. Yes for no feedback loops!

A few months ago I got a Groupon to a local (and I mean right outside of my neighborhood) gym that had Saturday morning Power Yoga. It was for 5 classes and I always thought I wanted to be one of those people that go to yoga but not in a pretentious way, and even that proved to be too much. I went 4 times. I am not one of those people that go to Yoga.

So we will call 37 the At Present Year.

At Present, I would like to turn anything that I would make 3 threaded tweets into a blog post.

At Present, I am very much into fancy bar soap even though it costs more than (what I assume) drugs cost. That fancy soap at Whole Foods that it’s like $21 a pound.

At Present, I like buying 32 page notebooks and only writing on the right hand page (left page is for randomness always) because I saw a photo of a stack of used Field Notes notebooks and it is truly goals.

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📒 July 4, 2018 – July 3, 2019: 39 pocket notebooks, just under 2,000 pages 📒. . In an effort to actually use all the stuff I was buying, I started a daily log book one year ago. I honestly didn't think I'd keep up with it, but despite missing a handful of days here and there, I've thoroughly surprised myself with this stack (despite being filled with nonsense). In addition to these, I've probably finished another dozen notebooks for work and other random use. Now that I have this year under my belt, I think I'll try my hand at a larger format book next. #takenotes . Don't forget to swipe ➡️ . #pocketnotebook #pocketnotebooks #notebooks #notebook #writing #handwriting #stationery #pen #pencil #fountainpen #fountainpens #stationeryaddict #journaling #notebookjunkie #storysupplyco #fieldnotes #baronfig #writepads #doanepaper #logandjotter #makeastorytellastory #nockco #bondtravelgear #nomadnotebooks

A post shared by Mike (@cursive.not.inkluded) on Jul 3, 2019 at 3:59pm PDT

At Present, I am working on curbing impulse purchases…except for notebooks.

At Present, good enough is good enough.