Adulting

Addy likes to watch 227.

Yes THAT 227.  The Black Encore channel’s evening line up is like Amen, Diff’rent Strokes, and 227.  She’s particularly fond of Arnold on Diff’rent Strokes, and Sondra on 227.

Anyway, one day we’re watching and Rose is wanting a date and they take her to the dating service and she makes a VHS tape of herself and what she likes to do.  Because, 80s.  And she goes “I own an apartment building, I like long walks on the beach, I’m 35…”

And I go “wait a goddamn minute. What does Rose mean she’s 35?”  Because I’m 32. I mean I get that 35 in ’86 is different than 32 in ’15 but my perception of what adulting is is still wrong.

When I first moved out on my own I was ready.  I stashed away things in my parent’s garage and only had to move and grocery shop the day I signed my lease.  It was fantastic until I called my mom on my prepaid cell phone to verify that the price of cheese was in fact what it was.  Because why did cheese cost so much and what was I doing having to buy it.  And then I opted to go to Whataburger for breakfast at 12am because I was an adult!  I thought that was about all it would be.

Adultier adults say that we (that overlapping section I’m in of Gen X and Millenials) got screwed because the Clinton years were good and life really was like Living Single and Friends (the white Living Single).  And now we’re angsty adults with student loan debt and no O-Zone layer and cell phones.

Maybe it’s part of the ex-hippies turning into the people they were against or the idea of adulting in the 90s was sold to me in my teens so when 2001 came and shit got real the world was just something we weren’t prepared for?  Or maybe every generation goes through the phase where they realize they are in charge of things and don’t know how they ended up there and put on the brave face of winging it.  They just didn’t have the World Wide Web to broadcast to and empathize with.

All of this to say mostly I just don’t know what I’m doing.  Like I buy $20 face cream because 1) I have the disposable income to do so and 2) need to actually preserve my face.  IS THIS REAL LIFE?! (I’m out of face cream and say phrases like “face cream”)

But for real. How was Rose 35? Rachel was the last one of the Friends bunch to turn 30 and she was already working at Ralph Lauren and roommates with Joey.  WHAT?! TV is full of lies.

Except for Kimmy Schmidt.