Making A Mess

Friday I wanted to tell this funny story just because it’s Friday and I keep things lite around here.  Then… ok I’m just going to tell the story (with pictures) then tell about Friday morning which is also funny…now because tragedy + time = comedy.  The smaller the tragedy, the shorter the amount of time.  So now it’s about ripe.

Wednesday night Brownlee was going to work out so me and Addy were going to make a night of Bubble Guppies and dinner and probably ice cream. No biggie.  But as soon as she got home she wanted out of her clothes and into her Cinderella leotard and tutu.  Fine.  Then she saw Brownlee getting ready to leave and I decided to reduce tears, I would take her to Target.  Because we both love Target.

“Addison go get dressed.”

But she wasn’t going to take off the tutu.

She went to Target like this:

I am officially a mom who doesn’t care.

I mostly just needed to get a few Christmas items and whatever else one needs at Target, but she pointed me down the toy aisle.  If you don’t have kids in tow, you might not have noticed that Target has put this $5< toy section right before you get to the toys.  It’s bins of crap that will break by the time you get home but it’s just $3 or so and well whatever.  That day she picked out this princess cell phone.

I open it when we get in the car and she’s like

“Mommy! Mommy say cheese.  No, don’t say cheese like that.  Look at me and say cheese.  Good boy Mommy.” because of course the phone has a shutter sound and well she still says I’m a boy.

Then we get home and she insists on putting the phone in her pocket, but her tutu is in the way.

In all my life I never thought that would be a thing I would say.

Brownlee get’s home, puts Addy to bed.  Around 10 or so we’re watching TV in our room and hear “beep beep {shutter}” over the monitor.

He goes in to check and says Addy is laying on her stomach with her feet in the air playing on the phone. He had to take it away.

Do you understand this?  Our 2 year old was sneaking on the phone at night and we had to confiscate it.

It was the first thing she asked for Thursday morning.

–

Thursday night though things took a turn for the disgusting.

3am Addy is in our bed.  I hear a cough. I hear another cough.  I hear a wet cough.

I turn on my nightstand light and fear to turn around, so I politely ask Brownlee if Addy threw up in our bed.

“Um. Yes.”

So that is example #14837264 that I was not prepared to be a parent.

Cleaning throwup off a toddler was the most simple thing about what happened next.

We then had to 1) strip the bed. 2) figure out where the other sheets were. 3) realize the extra sheets were in the bench that is currently hiding the Klip Klop Castle thing I bought Addy for Christmas. 4) realize that Addy was now wide awake and wanting to watch Bubble Guppies. 5) realize that she would not be hosed down in the shower.  6) find alternate pj’s that she approved of.  7) remember that if I smell throw up I will then throw up.

So I got charged with wiping down Addy and finding an episode of Bubble Guppies while Brownlee did the other things.

Conversation that took place with the kid.

Me:  How is your tummy?  Are you doing okay?

Addy: Yeah. I making a mess!

Me: Yes.  But it’s okay because Mommy and Daddy are cleaning it up.

Addy: No, Mommy cleaned it up.  Daddy didn’t clean it up.

{cut to me cracking up}

Then we spent Friday morning at home watching Bubble Guppies Lord of the Rings special like three times in a row.

Annnnnd I got sick Sunday night.

Doesn’t this make you simultaneously love and shy away from kids?  Great then my job is done.

Also someone remind me to register for Queen sized sheets.

I’m almost scared to ask how many parents have had to clean throw up out of their beds.  Not baby spit up.  I’m talking toddler chunks.

And now I’ve thoroughly disgusted us all.