Oh Canada!

So I spent a few days in Canada last week.  Calgary to be exact.

I still can’t point to Calgary on the map.  Let’s fix that.

Ok I was generally correct.  Mostly since it’s in the Rockies I said it was “about as far west as Colorado” with a shoulder shrug to show my not-so-sureness.

I went for a work thing.  Yes I was just there in December for work.  Yes I work for a new company but they also have an office in Calgary.  But with this company a “work thing” is more like eating big ass lobster and white water rafting.

BAM! Look at that. Chinet plate. Standard size right? Well look how big that mofo is! I ate it. That salad was just for show.  To bide my time until they brought out the main course.  I was all “oh yeah lobster boil that’s cool” then I was like “I’ll pay the data charges to Instagram this!”

And I did.

And it was cool to meet the people that I work with that I’ve only talked to over Skype.  And some customers and whatnot.  And they were all “oh wow you’re from Texas! How do you like it up here eh?”  And I’m like “you liars said it was almost summer but how come it’s the high is 60 degrees?!” But they didn’t understand me.  Not because I have an accent but because they talk in Celsius. Crazy Canucks.

Friday was white water rafting.  No lie I was kinda scared before hand.  Not because I can’t swim, but because I said it was 60 degrees the day before and that was a warm day.  The day we were scheduled to go out, it was cold and cloudy and we had to go INTO the mountains to get to the rapids.

The closer we got, the more excited I was.  And when we  landed at the place for the rafting I was even more excited.  They showed us the wet suit, wet booties, fleece, and waterproof thingy we got to wear during the rafting.  We suited up and made the 10 minute trek down to the river.  Then the shit got real.

They brief you on the “worst case scenarios” which is a nice way to say “scare the bejeezus out of you”. Fortunately nobody can tell if you peed in your wetsuit. AMIRIGHT?! HA!  Our crash course completed, we headed out into the river.  The first rapid we hit was the hardest one.  You have to row row row your boat not so gently along the raging river.  Ok maybe it wasn’t raging but shutup.  I’ve never done it.

It was fantastic.  We all got a rush like we kicked that river’s ass.

Then they pull the boats over and are like “hey you can jump off these rocks into the water.”

And I’m like why in the hell would I get OUT of the raft?! But then the guy was like “we’ll take your picture”.

Epic.

I’m going to George Costanza this post now.

fin

(if you want to see my Flickr stream of pics from the trip, which is mostly just pictures of faraway mountains, click here)