Be Your Own Nerd

The other night I was watching the Simpson’s.  This is basically true for about 300/365 nights of the year.  Anyway, Bart and Martin were working together on a science fair project.  Lisa was having trouble with hers.  Bart says to her he says, “you should get a nerd to help you.”  To which Lisa replies

I didn’t get help from a nerd. I’m my own nerd.

And I shot up and posted a status update because I knew one day I would blog about it.  My friend suggest that I get it on a t-shirt.  I will.

And then I started to think over  how I was a nerd before being a nerd was cool.  I’m sure Mrs. PTB would say that’s just another tally in my hipster column but let’s look at the evidence.

Go ahead.  Laugh.

This was me circa…whenever Southerwestern clothes were cool?  So never? 6th grade?  I was like 11 or so.  Yeah that’s a school picture.  I’m okay with it.

I know you’re still laughing.

But there are all types of people running around claiming they are into nerdy things.  Cause they stayed after the credits for The Avengers.

The word “nerd” is so generic.  You need to be specific and segregate your nerds.  Some things I get really nerdy about.   Teenage boy nerdy.  Venture Brothers is back for Season 5.  I stayed up past midnight watching the premiere and a Halloween special that revealed a lot about the brother’s relationship.  And then after the premiere went off, I got online and ordered a shirt from the episode.  On several occasions I have seriously considered getting a VB tattoo.

But I’m not into Star Wars.  See.  Some people are Star Wars nerds.  Some people are nerds.  All nerds are not into Star Wars.  And never get Star Wars and Star Trek confused.  A nerd will f*ck you up.  Lots of people are into Harry Potter.  Whole different set of nerds.  I’m sure there are Venn diagrams about all of this.

I read books.  I may or may not get into really in depth conversations about them with my nerd friends.  I swear to God before 6th grade (and the yearbook photo) I did not know there were people on the planet Earth that did not read for fun.  The concept just never crossed my mind.  And then I co-mingled with people and found out the horrible truth I could no longer be shielded from.  Granted, there were some things I just did not want to read (see: absolutely hating Across Five Aprils), but you mean to tell me you just were not going to read R.L. Stine or Christopher Pike? Does not compute.

I started to feel awkward.  And hide my nerd.  Well to an extent.  I still looked like the picture.  I adapted and enjoyed things from other facets of life, but sometimes you just gotta nerd it up.  Snort when you laugh.  Have a random nosebleed.  Go to a midnight screening.  Complain about the book being better.  Instantly be mad at the trailer for Ender’s Game because in what the hell book was he like 13?! ENDER WAS 6!  Get inexplicably mad when movies defy the laws of science.  Stand in line for a book release.  Write an angry letter about poor grammar on a sign.  Empathize with Leonard on Big Bang.  Use words like ’empathize’.  Buy a t-shirt for a cartoon about failed scientists, his fantastic arch nemesis, and his goofy twin sons.  Walk into a book store and inhale.  Stay up late playing a video game and then complain about it.  Fully believe that you are Liz Lemon.  Fall in love, I mean IN LOVE, with a fictional character.   Talk incessantly about one particular subject ad nauseam despite the fact the people you are talking to have 1) no knowledge of the subject and more importantly 2) no interest.

Be your own nerd.

go team venture